With the same quick wit and page-turning narrative that marked his best-selling books The Game, The Dirt, and How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, EMERGENCY traces Strauss’s white-knuckled journey through today’s heart of darkness as he traverses a panic-stricken America that’s lost its sense of safety and attempts to escape the system.

Along the way, he learns to shoot a man and get away with it, hide his assets from the government, survive in the wild with nothing but a knife, track animals, trap humans, deliver a baby, fly a plane, pick locks, hotwire cars, evade bounty hunters, suture bullet wounds, and escape with a second passport to a small island republic.

It's a tale of paranoid fantasies and crippling doubts, of shady expatriates and dangerous cult leaders, of billionaire gun nuts and survivalist superheroes, of weirdos, heroes, and ordinary citizens going off the grid.

It's one man's story of a dangerous world—and how to stay alive in it.

Inside Emergency, you’ll discover…

  • How to Protect Yourself From Inflation, Hackers, and Celine Dion
  • Why Knocking Up a Brazilian Woman Can Save Your Life
  • Life-Saving Properties of Toilet Tanks
  • Surviving Snipers, Dirty Bombs, and Salad Bars
  • The Gone With the Wind Guide to Asset Protection
  • How to Become Immortal
  • Why You Should Think of the Zoo as a Restaurant
  • Proper Care and Handling of Hawaiian Tropic Girls
  • How to Pick a Lock with a Beer Can
  • Where to Swim Across the Border
  • Mental Health Guidelines For Air Travelers
  • Secrets of Escaped Felons; Birth Control Tips from Billionaires
  • Birthday Clowns to Avoid
  • Five Steps to a Tax-Free Life
  • The Art of Disappearing
  • Tips on Death Cult Etiquette
  • A Ninja's Guide to Bringing Weapons on Airplanes
  • How to Turn Your Credit Card Into a Knife
  • Your Odds of Dying Horribly
  • And much, much more…