For those of you who missed the relaunch of my SiriusXM radio show, I grabbed a couple choice excerpts for you and posted them online. The links are below, including a bit where a guest agrees to commit suicide during the show. I didn’t buy it. Do you?
But before we get to that, there’s something I want to address. Yes, this is one of those posts that’s a mini-rant….
—————
MINI-RANT
—————
So I just did my annual Game seminar last weekend. As I learn more and more, they keep getting better (highest-rated Stylelife conference yet). And what’s interesting
is that a few of the coaches brought female friends, and the women all said, “Before we came here, we were skeptical. We thought it would be a bunch of cheesy player guys who just wanted sex. But this is really a great thing. All these guys are so sweet–and a lot of them are really interesting and good-looking.”
And it made me realize that there’s one thing I’ve failed at since The Game came out: and that’s removing the stigma associated with learning attraction and making it okay to work on without being somehow shamed or judged.
And I think the problem is that most women really don’t understand most men. They somehow expect them to think the same things they do about dating and sex–and often men PRETEND they do in order to supplicate and have a chance with them. But the truth is, men and women are different.
In order to change the culture–and the world even–people have to be taught to RESPECT the differences between the way they think and the way others think, rather than living in FEAR of them.
That’s why one of the goals of The Game was not just to help men understand attraction, women, sex, and courtship, but also to help women understand men. Because many women (and I realize I’m generalizing here) believe that most men are after SEX, and if a man is after sex, that makes him a bad person.
And they’re right about one thing: most men are after sex. But they’re wrong in the sense that sex is not ALL that men are after. If guys just wanted an orgasm, they could do it themselves. And if they just wanted sex, they could buy it for probably the same cost as a night out on the town. (And definitely for less than the price of most pickup seminars and products.)
This cuts both ways:
As for the women who are so scared of men and their intentions, that’s not what they’re really afraid of: they’re afraid of falling in love and getting hurt. And they go to seminars to work on this.
But truth is that men and women are both after the same thing; we just have different strategies for getting there. Because whether we’re seeking sex or love when dating, the inner goal is ultimately to connect, to not be alone, to enjoy life, to share intimate moments with someone, to be appreciated or admired or adored, and to be seen and understood.
So let’s stop fearing the Other. Because fear ultimately leads to hate.
A producer of The View, after I was on the show, put it best. She said that at first she was repulsed by the idea of guys learning pickup, but after she heard the interview, she realized it was actually a positive, admirable thing: “People get tutored for everything else in life,” she said. “If you can’t do math, you get a tutor. Sex in the City was women getting tutored in what to do with different types of men. So I admire these men. Because the coolest thing someone could do is recognize their weakness and work to improve it. ”
—————————
MOVING ON…
—————————
So, after that beautiful heartfelt message, here’s a man who found a different strategy to avoid being alone: hiring nine hookers at once. Below is the infamous clip from last week’s Inner Circle radio show (yes, named after this very website and the mailing list that started it):
In the clip, the voices belong to one of my oldest friends screenwriter Allan Loeb, writer Catherine Townsend, and, um, anti-marriage crusader Guy Blews. In this other excerpt, we try to convince Blews that getting married may just keep him from committing suicide:
Guy Blews agrees to suicide on the air
And that reminds me of another benefit of The Game: If I didn’t have all that experience opening and running sets in bars and clubs around the world, I definitely would not have the skillset to host this radio show and deal with these characters every week.
So I’ll close with the new motto here: Life is fun when you open your mouth.
Feel free to post your feedback, or thoughts on the de-stigmatizing of learning attraction, below.
Also, tomorrow (Friday) on the radio show (on SiriusXM 104 at 3pm PST), I’m going to try talk the wife of Sandman–from the Discovery Channel show The Devil’s Ride–into having a threesome with him. I realize it’s frustrating that it’s on satellite radio and they don’t post it online. So if you want to listen, I found a better link. With this one, you actually don’t have to give them your credit card info to get a free trial:
Podcast: Play in new window | Download